Anyways, her and I always have the conversation about the difference in our blogs. Hers are all about important issues whereas mine, well, I sort of just describe as a rambling mess of my day to day life. Not saying what I write about isn't important, but it's sort of more for people who want to be informed about me, my life, and my experience down here-not really something I'd show just anyone and expect them to read. So, the other day, she informed me that she wrote a blog post about nothing and maybe it was time for me to write one on about something really important. I agreed. I do want to do that, but coming up with a topic or subject that I feel is really important AND that I can write about and sound informed and intelligent on, is a bit of a task.
So, I decided it would be best to write a topic on something I could personally relate to. An issue effecting a lot of people, but that hits closer to home for me. I can sound intelligent and informed, because it is something I have experienced and struggle with.
While this isn't going to be a post about Immokalee or my experiences here, I feel it's okay to blog about it here because throughout my time here, I have come to realize more and more the importance of feeling passionate about an issue or a cause, and working towards eliminating the problem. I have become more vocal about things I believe and find important. I have been inspired by people standing up for something, speaking out against it, and using their personal story and struggle to impact others and promote change.
The issue I want to focus on is women being made to feel bad about themselves and their appearances.
I know so many girls and women, regardless of age, who have been made to feel they have to look or be a certain way in order to be attractive, beautiful, employable, or worth something.
Society is never happy. If you are too skinny, you are a skeleton and look sickly. If you are to big, you are a cow. You're mocked for crooked teeth, you're mocked for braces. Mocked for having glasses, freckles, frizzy hair. More and more emphasis is being put on having to look some way, be a certain weight, be a certain height, be properly proportionate, have the right kind of hair, makeup, clothes, shoes, accessories...and less and less emphasis is put on being a good person. Doing what is right. Having a good heart. Personality. Character.
It's pathetic.
People are constantly tearing down others on how they look, as well. Could it be because those very same people feel poorly about themselves? Perhaps, they didn't meet the standards of "beauty" or "attractiveness" that society places on them? Regardless of why people do it, it's happening.
I watched a clip from the Jimmy Kimmel show of celebrities reading mean Tweets from people (Watch Clip Here). Obviously it was meant to be funny, and it was. Of course these celebrities could care less about what some random people from who-knows-where are saying about them, but at it's core, it's sad that people feel the need to attack others-famous or not-on being ugly, fat, dumb, etc.
Check out the magazine rack at the grocery store. How many magazine titles and tabloids show pictures of female celebrities who have just gotten "too fat"?
It has even gotten to the point where clothing stores, such as Abercrombie and Fitch, are marketing only to "the in-crowd, the thin and beautiful people". Are you SERIOUS? Because that is a GREAT way to make people feel poorly about themselves, increase eating disorders, which I don't even have to say, can lead to death. Cool. Real Cool. This article I read (Read Article Here), including commentaries from the CEO, literally just makes me sick to my stomach. YES my STOMACH. The stomach that I have, that is not flat, and is not a six-pack.
And just a side-note for Abercrombie and Fitch, I just miss your size cut-off...and I am STILL beautiful. :)
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There have also been cases of people being fired or moved to the back of a store for gaining weight or being to fat. Of course there are anti-discriminatory rules against this, and most companies would deny that being the reason for termination, but it still happens. One such example. This model was a size 4. A SIZE 4. And was fired for not fitting into clothes. She was 5'10" and 120 lbs. was "too big". These unrealistic expectations disgust me.
Society has given us these expectations that we as women are supposed to meet in order to be "beautiful". When we don't match up to the celebrities we see on TV, in the movies, or on magazines, we are supposed to feel as though we are not measuring up, like we have to change. There needs to be a huge societal shift in mindset. Our beauty is not defined by the way we look. Why should it be? Yes, it's important to take care of ourselves and our appearance. It is good to be healthy and eat right, exercise, etc. We want to feel confident and present ourselves well. But what get's me most heated, is when people are so cruel and so mean, that they attack other people on how they look. We need to worry about ourselves, and not other people.
People think they have this right to call people out on what they look like. Yet, how do you know that person you are calling fat isn't struggling with a health issue that is preventing them from losing weight? How do you know that person isn't dealing with an issue that causes them to eat to escape their feelings or comfort themselves? How do you know that person isn't struggling EVERY day with low self-esteem? Yet, we have the RIGHT to call them out and bully them into feeling less than human because we don't approve of how they look? I say "we", because I am referring to society as whole. As a collective unit. That each and every one of us is a part of.
I mentioned it before that this hits home for me, and it does. I, along with many others, have struggled for years, with my appearance and how I looked/felt about myself. I can remember such feelings of insecurity with my weight back beginning around the age of 10. I am currently 22, so do some simple math, that's 12 years. It's a constant struggle figuring out what works and what the best methods are of maintaining and/or losing weight. What foods to eat, how much food, what to avoid, how much exercise, what types of exercises, when to exercise, etc. etc. The list is endless and it's hard. But, aside from the internal struggle, what makes it most hard is the mean comments from others. Growing up, I can think back to comments people have made to me, referring to my weight, including but not limited to "fat" and "big". Who gave those people the right to say those things to me? Did they think I didn't have a mirror of my own at home and that I could not see for myself what I looked like? Did they genuinely feel better about themselves after hurting me? I don't know. It makes me sad though.. Not a "poor me" sad, no. That's what I felt at the time, but now it just makes me sad that people must not be feeling very good about themselves, which then causes them to inflict their own pain and insecurity onto others.
Below, are some pictures that other people felt the need to comment on (mind you, people I did not even know and who didn't know me) about my weight/appearance. I share these personal things with whoever is reading this, with the intent of showing that I will not let these people's cruelty keep me from sharing these photos. They will not win.
This was right before I was preparing to leave for Immokalee. It was my last night hanging with some friends and saying goodbye. The comment on this picture, from a female I did not know, referenced that I needed to lose weight.
This was a night with my sisters in college, preparing to go a toga party. I remember us all having so much fun, laughing together, and all so proud of the outfits we made for ourselves. The comment on this photo was from a male that only knew one of these girls, and was insulting the rest of us on either weight or appearance.
There were no mean comments on this photo (naturally, because we all look wonderful). ;) However, the night this photo was taken, I was insulted by a man (who I did not know) at a bar, and was called, once again, fat.
The point is society stinks. And society's expecations stink. We all need to realize our unique beauty that we all individually possess, and OWN IT. Will it always be easy? Heck no! Will it be a struggle? YES. But I invite you all, with me, to tell society and it's crazy expectations to Bring.It.On. I have had enough with being made to feel bad about myself. It is my choice whether or not I let people's opinions effect me. I could dwell on the mean things and cry over them every night, or I could take joy in the fact that every day, I walk into my classroom after-school and am hugged and told by little 7 yr. old Neomi, that I am a beautiful, fairy princess. Every day.
I am an educated woman, with incredible friends, a supportive family, a kick-butt sense of humor, and a giving heart. These things, among many others, make me proud to be who I am and that is what makes me beautiful. Knowing yourself, knowing your worth are the first steps. Let NO ONE define your worth. Ever.
You are uniquely you. There is no other you in the world. Never has been and never will be. YOU are BEAUTIFUL.
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